Being Disabled:Enjoying the good and Rollin' with the punches

Ive been looking back at my blog lately and I realized something. It's more of a journal of all the exciting things I get to do all the time. I thought maybe I should make a couple blogs a bit more personal. I have trouble coming up with blog ideas unless some exciting event has happend to me. However, I thought today I would like to tell you a bit more about myself and what my life is like living with Cerbral Palsy. I have it very good and its true when I tell you that I'm a very lucky girl,but today I would like to share with you the good things about being disabled as well as a bit of the bad. Here are my thoughts on having Cerebral Palsy. I'll give you 10 great things and 10 not so great things, just to give you an idea of wha my life is like. I'll start off with a positive, because its always nice to start of on a positive note 1. P- Having C.P makes me me- Being disabled has taught me a lot about life. I used to and sometimes still wish I wasn't disabled, but now for the most part, I wouldnt change who I am. I feel I have a diffrent outlook on life than able bodied peple. When you have a dissability, you try to hook up with other disabled people. Doing that has made me realize how lucky I am to have the mobility I have. Also, I think without C.P., my life would be very diffrent. I've had this condition all my life and it has become a part of me. I wouldn't change my life. I would change some things about it like I will mention here but not all of it. Never! 1. N- Being a little diffrent- Sometimes, I feel a little awkward because I am a little diffrent. I told you I like that, and thats true, but sometimes it's hard. Esspecially, around kids my own age. I'm not as good as having a good conversation with them as I am with adults. Adults seeem to be a little bit more understastanding and patient. Highschool kids are so busy in their teenage lives, it seems they don't have time for me. I do wish I was more like the other kids. It would make life a little easier. But who ever said life was easy 2. P- Having a wonderful family- I do have a wonderful family. I love them all. I'm very close to them all. They all pulling me back up when I'm feeling down. I love spending time with them. There very supportive and always are encouraging me. 2. N- Enough is Enough-Sometimes I get caught up in all the people I have helping me. Sometimes some of them think they know best. I'm not complaining. All the people I work with at school are wonderful, its just sometimes I have too many moms all fussing over me. I have to remember all the wonderful people I have in my life and leave no out, especially my family. 3. P- Having so many friends and people that care about me- I have an amazing support system, everywhere! At home, at school, and in my community! They all support all that I do. I love talking with people and really trying to get to know everybody I meet. Sometimes I think if I wasn't disabled, I wouldn't be so close to so many people. When I was little I used to say I don't have any friends because I wasn't as close to other children, but now I look around an realize that I have more friends than I know what to do with! Geez, what was I thinkin'! 3. N- Scaring children- I don't like it when I'm in the mall or downtown or something and there is a little kid that walks by me and they look really scared. I used to get frusterated because they were staring at me but then I started thinking about it. I'm bigger than they are and I am in a moterized machine that could probably run them over. I feel terrible. I love little kids but its hard for me to connect with them because of my differences. I get a lot of questions kids especially about why I am in a wheelchair and I usually say "oh something happend to me when I was born." That happend one day when my mom and I were downtown. We we in a store and this little boy came up to me. He was maybe 5 or 6. He came up to me and said "What happend? Why are you in a wheelchair" I said "Oh, something happend to me when I was born." Apparently I didnt give the poor kid enough information because his next question was "Did you fall off the table?" I was laughing so hard I couldn't answer him back. I usually get nervous about little kids questions but I gotta give this kid an A+ for creativity. So yes, getting stares from kids is hard but sometimes you can get some humour out of it, whitch is the way you always gotta look at things. Another thing is that I am not a mind reader. Nobody is. I have a preety good idea of what's going through a kid's head when they stare at me but you can never be to sure. 4 P- All the trips I get to go on and stuff I get to do- I've had some amazing adventures in the past few years. Ive gotten to go to the Paralympics to carry the torch. I've been to Ottawa to speak at the senate. I get to go to camp every summer. Without C.P, I probably wouldn't have had that many oppourtunities because I've had so many extra helpers that want to do special stuff for me. The big trips for me are memories to last a life time and are definetly an upside to having a disability. 4. N- Not being able to do everything others can do- I am able to do a lot of things independently whitch I'm very fortunate for but there are a few things I just wont be able to do, like getting up and going somewherre as easily as oothers can. That can get a little frusterating. I think it looks so simple, why should I have troubles with it. 5. P- Showing peaople what I'm made of!- The best part of being disabled is getting excited about and enjoying the little things in life. I love inspiring people. Some people worry about what I can and can't do and they worry for my safety while walking so I like to show them that I can do anything I set my mind too, because I can! 5. N- Being a goody two shoes- I don't know if this one is because of my disability or its just my personally but I do not want to be a goody two shoes. I'm afraid that people will see me and think that I'm a little sweetheart in a wheelchair. I haven't really done anything too terrible YET! Also, another thing to do with tis one is when I meet people for the first time and worry that they get the impression that I'm extreamly innocent. It used to bug me when adults were too nice to me but a few years ago I realized something. Most of them are nice people that just want to help and get to know me. For instance, a teacher at school is always very sweet to me. I didn't think much of it because she's a very sweet lady and is very caring towards all the kids at school, so I let it slide. Then when I was in her class I learned that she went through a similar situation that I am going through when she was little. See what happens when you wait things out! Miracles! 6. P- My best friend Grace- I've talked a lot about Grace. She is my best friend. I've never met anyone like her, not just because of her dissability but because of the way we talk together. I talk to her unlike I've ever talked too any other kid my age. She inspires me to. She is quite physically handicapped, cant walk at all, but has a great attitude and outlook on life. I'm proud to call her my best friend. 6. N- Winter- Its hard in the winter time when there is snow on the ground for me to get out. I can't walk outside on my own and my wheelchair doesn't work in the snow so I can't go outside on my own. My parents work lots and I cant go out in the winter so unless they are home I am stuck inside. Today was the first day I've had my chair oout so that was awesome. I cant wait to be able to walk to and from school again. 7. P- My electric wheelchair- When I was in grade seven I got my first electric wheelchair. My mom and I thought it might hold me back from walking but it has opened a whole new world up for me. I can go places by myself. I dont have to hold my moms hand everywhere I go now, although I stll like too sometimes. I think it has been the biggest step towards my independence in the future yeat. 7. N- Feeling like a slow poke sometimes- I can walk preety well and I can do a lot of things myself but it takes me but sometimes certain tasks I do feel like they take forever. Even going to the washroom sometimes. I'll leave a conversation to go to the washroom. I only meann to be gone a few seconds but it will feel a lot longer. When I do the little things I need to do, it makes me feel like I'm missing out, but I want to do them myself. It makes me feel good. So, yes, time is a big issue for me but the fact that I can do things by myself means the world to me. 8. P- Not being in any pain- This is a big one. There are so many people out there who have a lot of troubles and who are in a lot of pain. I do not have any pain. I do get tired sometimes. I struggle but I do not suffer. To me there is a big diffrence between the two. I feel very lucky not to be in any pain. There are so many hurting out there. There's people lying in hospital beds day after day and I'm free from that stuff. Remember, however bad you have it, there is always someone who has it 10 times worse, so be thankful for what you have. 8. N-Pleasing everybody- I am definetly a people pleaser. I like to make sure everyones happy. I have a lot of people helping me, doctors and helpers at school. I have to do excersise and school work, and be independent. All these people want whats best for me, but its hard to do absouluty eveything your told. And yet, they do tell me I need to make my own decisions and guess what? That's even harder. I will live on my own one day and then I have to make my own decisions! Oh well! Practise makes perfect. 9.P- Having a good school system-- I love school. I get treated so well there. The helpers there will do anything for me. The're very adaptive and try ino integrate me with the other students as nuch as possibe. Not too long ago kids with disabilities weren't allowed to even go to school, or they were put into specaial institutions. Still, today a lot of schools aren't very accomodating I've heard from other people. Miy school is very accomodatingI love the schols in my school district. There awesome! 9. N-Worrying about the future- I'm almost done highschool and am worring about what the future has in store for me. Living on your own for anybody is hard but living on your own wuth a disability is even harder. I'm just schared I wont know what to do and how to advocate for myself. I'm scared of the unknown, but we'lljust wait and see what happens. There could be very exciting times ahead. 10. P- mobility- I am able to walk quite well like I said. I know people that can't walk at all and really can't imagine what that's like. I don't have to wait to be carried or wheeled somewhere, for the most part for short distances I can just go. I do have an electric wheelchair now but I still want to walk as much as I can snd stay strong. That is probably what is at steak for me the most, but as long as I keep working hard, I'll stronger annd stronger. 10. N- Guilt- This is the absoulute worst thing about my disability. I love my life and I wouldn't change it. There are so many people who have it way harder than I do. I feel bad about that. I also feel bad that I can't help people as much as I would like too. Sometimes people will be busy trying to get things done around me and I can't think of what I can do to help. I like feeling like I'm needed physically or emotionally or whatever. I just want to be there for my friends the way they are there for me. It's hard but I'll keep trying and one day I'll get to do something big for someone and it going to fee great! So, there you have it, the good, the bad and the ugly. ha ha. just kidding. I know this is not as bright and cheerful as some of my other blogs but I just wanted to talk about my life and get more into certain topics. I do love my love my life. I have an amazing life and I intend to live it one day at a time and keep on truckin it through. i'm going to have rough days but everyone has rough days. I'm going to fail but everyone fails sometimes. Wothout struggles in life it would be impossibe to appreciate the good, and there is a lot of good in life. I'll just take it one step at a time. So, like I said, I have trouble coming up with intresting blog stories other than events that happen to me, so if you have any questions or suggestions about topics that you would like me to write about, just comment below or on facebook or anything you like. Thankyou.