Hello again! I haven't written in a few days! Wow! ha ha. Just kidding! I've decided to take a little break from writing, because I thought I was going a bit blog crazy! Right now, I'm just wrapping up with school, sort of, and trying to get outside a bit, because it's gotten so nice out! My wheelchair needs a new battery, so it's a little hard for me to get out myself! The battery comes on Tuesday, so that will be nice. Anyway, today, I thought I'd talk about some things that people should know about people with disabilities. Sometimes, with somebody who is disabled, people base things a little too much on their wheelchair or their differences, instead of getting to know what they are like as a person. I have a lot of really close friends in town that are awesome and who I love being around, but there is the odd time where someone will do or say something that they could maybe they could have done a little differently. For this blog, I'm going to mention ten thing's either that disabled people really want in a friend, or some things people do or say to disabled people that they don't like very much. I'm going to mention a lot of things that people do or say to me, which are most of the time super sweet and awesome by the way, but I will also t advocate for some other disabilities as well. Now, I'm not and expert on all disabilities, but judging by what I've heard from some of my disabled friends , I will try to put some of what they've told me into account! Again, I hope you learn something! Here we go!
1. Let them be the teacher- A big thing I've had to deal with, having a disability is people not knowing how much I CAN do! People kind of like to do everything for me sometimes. I think with anyone who notices somebody who's struggling, their automatic instint is "Oh, he/she is really struggling, I should help." However sometimes you have to wait and see what the outcome is. I love be independent. I even like to show off a bit, and show people what I can do. I need to practise asking for help a little bit more, insteasd of people just jumping in and doing things for me. I getting better but, I am still practising. Time is a big issue for me. I have to learn to be aware of that. I have to ask myself constantly, "Is it more important for me to do this myself, or to ask for help and keep up with everybody else. People with disabilities are not helpless. You'll be amazed at what they can do. Another thing is that sometimes doctors, or aids, or anybody that works with disabled people think they know everything about disabilities. The only person that knows everything there is to know about a disabled person is the disabled person themself, and maybe their parents. They are the only ones that know what their goals are, and what there needs are too. When you meet anybody, not just a disabled person, don't set the bar to high or to low. Start in the middle, and let them surprise you. Most of the time, you'll be delighted at what you will find!
2. Don't feel too sorry for us- I used to hate it when people felt sorry for me, but to be honest, I don't really know why I got so mad. I had no reason why they shouldn't feel sorry for me, it just made me mad. I even felt sorry for myself a little bit too. As I got older, I've realized the reason why I didn't want sympathy. I have a wonderful life. I have a wonderful family, wonderful friends, and get to do some pretty awesome things. I'm in no pain. I am healthy. I have come to terms with my disability. I don't know who I would be without it, like I mentioned before. Some days are tough, but I don't think I would change them. When I get over my troubles, it's one of the things that make me the most happiest because I have accomplished something new. Even, feeling too sorry for the most chronically ill or disabled person, doesn't help, I don't thin. The more positive things they have in their life, the more positive things that are said to them, and the more encouragement you give them to push on and to not give up, the longer they'll keep going. However bad one person has it, someone always has it ten times worse. I must admit, it is nice to get a good hug or pat on the back sometimes, but don't over do it. It doesn't help anybody. We all have battles to overcome, and we will overcome them. Where there is a will, there is a way!
3- Everyone always has something to say- This is more for disabled people who are non-verbal. Don't ignore them. Don't just talk to their parents or their caregivers. Talk to THEM! Most of the time they either know sign language or can answer things with a big smile for yes or drop their head down for no. At least that's what I've learned from the non-verbal people I've been around. I don't want to put words in anybody mouth, but I'm just saying, don't forget to talk to them too. Even if you just tell them a story or something, that's great! Sometimes, you have to learn to read in between the lines. It's like reading a really wonderful book but it has lots of meanings that you have to dig way down deep and find. It's like going to English class! Even when I talk to people, sometimes my words come out the wrong way, or they don't come out at all! I like it when people care enough about what I have to say to stick around a couple of minutes to let me say it. Let me say it, don't guess what it is. People need conversation skills, and talking to a non-verbal disabled person counts as one of those skills. No matter how fluent people speak, always make time to find out what they're saying. It will only make your relationship with that person go further and further.
4. Don't take things so seriously- A lot of people with disabilities have great sense of humours and love to laugh. I knowI like to joke around about my disability. I even like to be teased a bit. Not mean teasing, but fun teasing. When I find the little funny things about being disabled, it makes things a little easier. When you tease someone, lovingly of course, it shows that you are trying to get to get to know the person and really want to be their friend. Grace and I tease each other constantly and were best friends. It's great to laugh. Laughter is what gets us through the tough times. Keep laughing! It will make everyone feel good!
5. Have Patience- For disabled people, sometimes they can do certain things, it just takes them a while to do them. I know I can be a little slower at certain things. It gets frustrating sometimes. It gets even more frustrating when someones watching me. I worry that they will just take over if I take too long. At school, my friend Paige always says "Is it alright if I help you now." She waits for a while to see if I can do it, and then asks if I need help. She doesn't want me to miss out on whats coming next, but she knows it's important to me that I do things myself makes sure she asks if it is ok or her to hepl me. She doesn't just jump right in. I like that. Disabled people need others to have a little bit of extra patience with them, weather its with helping them, listening to them, or letting them do things themselves. Good things come to those who wait. If you wait these things out, you might be just as happy as the person trying to do it to see the results.
6. People know what they know- This one is for people with learning challenges. Just because they can't keep up academically, doesn't mean they don't know things. They know different thinsg. They probably know a lot of little meanings in life that others don't quite catch. Don't think they know any less than we do. Sometimes it just takes extra time for them to learn it, or they have to learn it in a different way Whenever I spend time with someone with a learning disability, I'm always very thrilled at what I find out about them, and what they can do. People with learning disabilities can be quite amazing and inspiring too. Give them a chance. You will be glad you did, I'm sure!
7. Don't be shy- This one goes to all the kidsout there. I know when you see a wheelchair in the mall or something, they might look kind of scary. I'd be scared to if I was three feet tall and standing next to a machine that could run over my toes. I know the way they do things might be a little different, but most of them are really cool people, and just want to make friends with you. Parents, next time you are with your children outside and you see someone in a wheelchair, don't tell your kids not to stare and just keep walking. Try and see if you can go over and say hi. In town here, one mom did that with her little girl and it made me feel great. It made me feel like the mom wanted her daughter to now that their are wheelchairs out there but the people in them do have feelings and want to make friends with as many people as possible. Thank you for that! Adults need to get to know disabled people too. I think the more variety of people we meet the better more inclusive this world is, which makes this world a better place for everybody.
8. There is no such thing as normal- As a kid, I always wished I was "normal." Again, as I got older, with help from friends and family I realized something. What is normal? Nothing is. Everything and everyone is unique. Everyone has troubles. No one looks exactly the same, well except maybe twins,but that's not the point. The point is that everyone has different troubles, different sorrows, different joys and diffrent outlooks on life. EVERY ONE'S DIFFERENT! That's a good thing though. If everyone was the same, we'd live in a world full of robots. I believe there would no such thing as compassion, empathy, and a lot of other good things that make the world go 'round. Dare to be different and stand out. Even if you think people will make fun of you. In the end,they will see how strong and happy you are standing out, and they will join you. You should commend disabled people for being different, and sending out the message to stand out and inspire!
9. NEVER TAKE ANYONE FOR GRANTED- I mentioned this before in the last blog I wrote about all the lessons I've learned. You shouldn't take people for granted. I think I mentioned, it's the worst feeling in the entire world, in my opinion. I like to try and help people and make them smile. I hate feeling like no one needs me. Don't take a disabled person for granted. Not even the most severe disabled person. They can always inspire you. People with disability's are special. They want to be loved and appreciated as much as any other person, and so they should be. The biggest thing they can give you, I think, is inspiration, and lots of love and happiness. Don't forget us. One day we might do something big for you, and you will be glad we were there.
10. Let disabled people teach you things- Disabled people have a lot to try and teach the world: Patience, courage, determination, lots of things. If you step back and watch them, not only will they learn something, you might learn something too. Sometimes the richest people learn the most from the poorest. They make people look back on their own lives and what they do to be a little bit more compashionate and thankful for what they have. I always hope I have taught people something through my years. This blog helps. Let as much knowledge sink in as possible. Take time to get to know them and you will learn some of lifes greatest lessons through them. It will be amazing!!
People have come very far with the acceptance of disabled people, but we can always go furthur. As world gets more and more inclusive, the better off we all are, I think. Thee are sme ways that the word can reach out disabled people, not just on the accesibility level, but on a more social level as well. Get to know disabled people, they derve it, and so do you. In your mind the impossible might turn into the possible, the bad might turn into the good, and the sorrows might tun into joys. You'll just have to see what these people bring to the world as they go through life, one step at a time.
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